


Two Full Inches Above Regulation Length

by granger_danger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: But Slightly Absurd, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Head Boy Draco Malfoy, Head Girl Hermione Granger, Hogwarts Eighth Year, House Points Kink, Humor, Inspired by Fanart, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Reclaiming Hussy, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Positive, Shameless Smut, Wild Nineteen Year Old Girl Chaos Energy, not quite crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/granger_danger/pseuds/granger_danger
Summary: “Granger.” Malfoy’s voice was an ember in the dark corridor. He grasped her wrist and she almost dropped her jar of bluebell flames. “Your skirt’s not to the bottom of your knees. I may have to take points from Gryffindor.”Hermione rolled her eyes, though she doubted the Head Boy could see it. What nerve he had. As though he hadn’t hoarsely begged her to hem her skirt while he was still inside of her just last week.*Featuring sex-positivity, wild nineteen-year-old-girl chaos energy, semi-public sex, and a House Points kink*
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 38
Kudos: 436
Collections: Role Models: A Dramione Smut Challenge (inspired by Elithien)





	Two Full Inches Above Regulation Length

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elithien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elithien/gifts).



> I wrote 95% of this about a month back when Elithien's lovely art was flagged. And then, somehow, I forgot about it. 😬
> 
> This story is absurd, it's irreverent, it is chaotic, it is sex-positive, it is kind of ridiculous. Now you know! 
> 
> Warning: This story contains content about reclaiming sexual slurs, like slut and hussy, for personal empowerment purposes. If that is a trigger for you, please steer clear! 
> 
> Inspired by [elithien](https://elithien.tumblr.com/)'s gorgeous art! NSFW piece can be found [here](https://www.patreon.com/posts/more-head-34691068).

“Granger.” Malfoy’s voice was an ember in the dark corridor. He grasped her wrist and she almost dropped her jar of bluebell flames. “Your skirt’s not to the bottom of your knees. I may have to take points from Gryffindor.”

Hermione rolled her eyes, though she doubted the Head Boy could see it. What nerve he had. As though he hadn’t hoarsely begged her to hem her skirt while his cock was still inside of her just last week. 

_“Two inches_ _shorter. . .” he had whispered, eyes desperate. “Please.” From above him, she pulled herself almost completely off of him._

_“Only two inches?” she had asked with a smirk, lowering herself about that far over his length._

_Malfoy groaned. “You’re tiresome, Granger.” His voice had been strangely fond as he’d grasped her hips and pulled her down hard, so that his cock thrust deep into her._

She had felt like such a fool, casting the sewing spell that evening alone in her dorm. But it had given her an unexpected thrill, breaking the rules as Head Girl, although almost certainly no one would notice or dare to comment. Most people simply didn’t care, and even McGonagall knew better than to quibble over sartorial propriety with a nineteen-year-old feminist war hero. 

It had been admittedly delicious, swanning around all week in her slightly shorter skirt, feeling Malfoy’s indolent gaze scorching the very bottoms of her thighs. 

She should have known then that he’d had a plot.

Not that she minded terribly, as his plots lately had tended mostly towards the orgasmic. 

Malfoy pushed her towards the stone wall, and she hastily braced herself with one hand, then extinguished the blue flames and levitated the jar to the ground. Draco sunk to his knees behind her, trailing elegant fingers up her calves.

“As I suspected,” he drawled, his breath hot on her lower thigh, “too short by far.”

“And do you really have to take the points away?” she asked, trying to keep sarcasm out of her voice. This part of the game bored her, but she endured it because it paid dividends. 

“Unless we can come up with . . . an arrangement.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes into the wall. He knew by now that she would enthusiastically fuck him in all manner of locations and positions, but nothing got him harder than pretending he was blackmailing her for House Points, of all things.

And even though the Head Student Office would be a more convenient place for their liaisons, they usually happened in some cranny or alcove . . . although that was admittedly mainly her doing. 

Draco rose behind her, running his hands up her thighs and rucking her skirt up as he pressed against her. She could feel his cock against her arse, already hard. He dropped his mouth to her neck, sucking at a spot that had been proven to unravel her.

Hermione gasped, tensing the arm that was propping her against the wall. 

Draco had twined his arms around her and his hands were roaming her torso, loosening her tie, cupping her breast through her jumper. He brought his right hand back to where he’d hiked her skirt in the back, smoothing it over her cheek. “Are you already wet, Granger?” he whispered into her ear. His hot breath made her shudder.

He stroked the gusset of her knickers, hissing with pleasure at how wet she was. He yanked the fabric to the side, running a finger over her slick center.

“Silencing — charm?” Hermione panted as she frantically reached a hand back and made a clumsy attempt at undoing his trousers. 

“No, I think not," Draco breathed rather cruelly. He hastily undid his trousers and yanked them far enough down to release his cock. “You’ll have to stay quiet, or I’ll take away more points.”

* * *

“You _hussy_!” Ginny squealed in approval, smacking her rather hard on the arm.

Hermione bristled and the corners of her mouth turned down. “Excuse me!”

“It’s a compliment! Reclaim it, Hermione! Like in that Muggle book on twat power that you gave me.” Ginny rifled through her satchel and produced the squat blue book with an orange daisy on the cover. 

“You shouldn’t have that at school — you’d get in trouble if you got caught,” Hermione chided, but it was clearly half-hearted. Rules were something of a joke after you broke into the wizarding world’s most secure bank and rode out on the back of a dragon. 

They rounded the turn on the narrow dirt track worn through the grass and came upon the Black Lake. “Here!” Ginny called. Her eyes were wild with mischief. She grabbed Hermione’s hand and tugged her down towards the reedy shore.

“What’s all this?” Hermione narrowed her eyes skeptically. 

“You’ll see!” Ginny flourished her wand. “ _Bulla sonus!_ ” 

A thin, iridescent half-dome bubble appeared starting about a foot behind them and encompassed the lake. Once it was fully formed, it shimmered briefly then faded into full invisibility. Hermione gawked at Ginny incredulously. 

“Any noise made within the bubble can’t be heard outside the bubble,” Ginny said nonchalantly, though she couldn’t quite bite back her smile at having cast a spell Hermione didn’t recognize. “Harry learned it in Auror training.”

Ginny dropped her things on the ground unceremoniously and pushed up the sleeves of her robes. Her face was _twinkling_ in a way that made Hermione very nervous. “What exactly are you doing?” Hermione asked.

“ _We_ are going to do some reclaiming,” Ginny replied with an easy smirk. 

She turned out to the water defiantly, head held high and hands on her hips. Her red hair gleamed brilliantly in the slanting afternoon sun. If she had been on the cover of a propaganda leaflet, Hermione would have joined up immediately. 

“I’M AN UNREPENTANT SLUT!” Ginny screamed, her shrill voice echoing out over the Black Lake with a gentle “ut - ut - uttt!” She turned to Hermione with a sly grin and waggled her ginger brows in challenge.

Hermione glanced at the lawn some 60 feet behind them, where a group of fifth-year Ravenclaws were still huddled over their books completely unperturbed. The bubble worked. 

“Fiiiiine,” Hermione groaned, dropping her bag on the soggy turf. She scrunched her forehead up in concentration then brought her hands to either side of her mouth to amplify her voice. “I’M A SHAMELESS HUSSY!” she yelled. “MY SKIRT IS TWO FULL INCHES ABOVE REGULATION LENGTH AND I PREFER IT THAT WAYYYYY!”

“Ayy - ayy - ayyyyy . . . “ rippled back across the waters, and Hermione began laughing uncontrollably. 

“See?” Ginny grinned triumphantly. 

“Okay, okay, you were _right_ ,” Hermione grumbled, but she was still holding back giggles. 

Ginny slipped her arm through Hermione’s jauntily. “Oh, we’re not done yet. MY CUNT TASTES LIKE TREACLE TART,” she cried out joyously, “AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I LIKE WITH WHOMEVER I LIKE.”

“I’M THE HEAD GIRL AND THE FUTURE MINISTER OF MAGIC,” Hermione howled, a true battle cry, “AND I REALLY LIKE TO FUCK!”

She paused, then added, “OFTEN IN PUBLIC SPACES!” 

“MY PUSSY IS MORE POWERFUL THAN THE DEATHLY HALLOWS!”

“I HAVE A VAGINA DENTATA AND I DESTROY MEN FOR ENJOYMENT!”

“HARRY REALLY DOES HAVE A TATTOO OF A HUNGARIAN HORNTAIL!”

“He does NOT!” Hermione shrieked in alarm, cuffing Ginny on the arm.

“Would you like to find out?” Ginny asked with a wink that could be joking or . . . not. “Your name _did_ come up when we were tossing around the idea of a threesome . . .” 

“Merlin’s BALLS, Gin!” Hermione turned bright red and collapsed to the grass in mad laughter, pulling her friend down with her. 

“Just — consider — it!” Ginny wheezed with mirth, slapping her thighs and laughing so hard she could barely speak. 

With great effort, Hermione stifled her laughter and rose to her knees. A lioness with her shoulders thrown back and her wild hair loose, she menaced the lake. “I’M GOING TO LET MALFOY FUCK MY ARSE!” She sank back onto the damp grass, looking rather pleased with herself. 

Ginny’s eyes went wide with shocked delight. “You _are_?!”

Hermione shrugged, her eyes gleaming. “Probably. Perhaps in the library, on a study desk, on rounds. Soon. Probably.” 

“Look,” Ginny said with a playful grimace, “I’m willing to lend minimal support to your semi-fucked-up whatever-it-is, because it absolutely lights you up, but if you are boning the ferret on public surfaces that I might have to _touch_ , I would rather not know.”

Hermione rolled her eyes dramatically. “Oh, come now. You’d murder me if I left out a single detail.”

Ginny giggled so hard she snorted. “That’s true,” she agreed. 

“Besides,” Hermione sniffed indignantly, “you know it sounds compelling.”

“Not going to disagree. Just be sure to use a lubrication spell.” Ginny wrinkled her nose like one who had learned the hard way. “And sanitize the desk after, for Circe’s sake.”

Just then Neville rounded the curve of the path from the far side of the lake. He was slouching slowly towards them in an extremely tentative manner, as though he hoped to skate past unnoticed. Neville had many qualities, but unfortunately, stealth was not among them. It certainly didn’t help that he was pushing a wheelbarrow. 

Hermione’s eyes went wide and her cheeks flushed, but Ginny appeared unruffled. “Alright, Neville?” she called innocently, then cast devilish side-eyes at Hermione. 

“Ah, em, yes! Alright!” Neville’s ears were bright pink and he was more flustered than Hermione had seen him in years.

Hermione wished to sink into the earth and never emerge again. She looked down at her lap until Neville had almost passed. 

When he was almost out of view, Neville paused and looked back over his shoulder. “Eh, ah, em — I respect your agency!” he squeaked, giving them an awkward salute as he bumbled away with his wheelbarrow full of aquatic plant samples. 

“GINNY!” Hermione hissed when he was out of ear-shot. She gave her friend a good shove.

Ginny shrugged blithely as she gave her wand a languid wave. The bubble briefly reappeared, then gave out with a shimmer and a quiet pop as she resolved the spell. “Well, how was I to know he was within the perimeter?”

* * *

Hermione craned her neck over her shoulder from where she was bent over the sturdy oak library desk. Since yesterday, she couldn’t quite get it out of her mind. 

“Malfoy.”

He was hovering behind her, eyeing her hungrily.

“What is it, Granger?” he asked, beginning to rub his cock lazily along the outside of her cunt. 

Hermione bit back a moan as he slid against her, teasing. “Call me a hussy.” 

“A hussy?” Malfoy blinked and stopped moving. “Isn’t that awfully old fashioned, Granger?” He wrinkled his nose.

“Malfoy,” she gritted out, pushing back against him in an effort to speed things along. “You heard me. Call me a hussy.” 

“Wouldn’t you rather I call you some other tired cliche? A _slag_ , perhaps? A _very bad girl_?” His sarcastic drawl, custom-tailored to perfectly annoy her, was infuriatingly attractive. 

Hermione looked daggers at him, gasping as the head of his cock skated over her clit. “Perfectly fine —” she paused to breathe as he slid against her, “— if it’s to someone’s taste and they request it, but I do _not_ want you to call me anything but a _hussy_.” She wriggled her hips, hoping to torment him into compliance. 

Malfoy cast aggrieved eyes heavenward and sighed. His long fingers were gripping her hips deliciously. “If I do it will you stop talking?” He dragged the head of his cock against her entrance, making her wait. 

“Absolutely,” she promised, arching her back, canting her hips against him, anything to get him inside of her immediately. 

“If I must,” Malfoy grumbled, but he sounded amused. He bent over her and whispered in her ear, his voice low and dangerous. “You’re such a hussy, Granger. Letting me fuck you this way.” 

She made an unedited noise, a wild noise of dark raw want. He pushed into her with one long, hard thrust.

Hermione’s eyelids fluttered as he filled her. She gripped the edge of the desk, considering. She wanted him to say it again. She wanted, absurdly, to please him. 

“Ten points to Slytherin,” she declared, at no small cost to her pride.

She could almost feel his ardor spark and ignite.

Malfoy leaned closer over her with immediacy, shuddering and gasping into her neck as he picked up pace. “Fuck,” he moaned. “Granger, you hussy,” he whispered, voice laced with euphoria. “FUCK.” 

Some dark flower of desire within her exalted. 

What it was about House Points, she would never know. 

But as he bent his warm breath to her ear, murmuring her name again and again, as he reached one hand around and under her illegally hemmed skirt to stroke her, as she spasmed around him, coming wildly undone. . . 

Considering all of that, she decided it was well worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> The book Hermione gave Ginny is Cunt: A Declaration of Independence by Inga Muscio, which, by synchronicity, came out in fall of 1998. 
> 
> Find me on [tumblr as grangerdangerfics](https://grangerdangerfics.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this creation.


End file.
